i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
