She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
we made out on top of his cat.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
