So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
