We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
