apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i used baking grease as lip gloss
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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