just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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