haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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