Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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