know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Text me some of your sweat
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
