yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
