so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
