Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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