It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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