i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
it was like eating out sand paper
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize