Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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