similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
