By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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