I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
