So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
