Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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