I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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