singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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