Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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