why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
