we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
