I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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