Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
