I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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