there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
