Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize