I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
