does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
