Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
and she was petting her beer can
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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