I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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