that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
