she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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