in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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