I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
