its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
