but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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