This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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