I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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