Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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