But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
