I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
