you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My dick has a subreddit
I need to calm my uterus...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
