so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
This girl is more easily done than said...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Couch. On fire.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
