Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
we're making bets on your personal life
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize