forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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