is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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