I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Randomize
