The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i love accidental penises.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
