Plan B is the new Plan A
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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