your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
