My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
