this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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